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Poster: "Scott F. Vaughan" <email@example.com>
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Hello boys and girls, this is Uncle Efenwealt, and I have a story
to tell you. Can you say story? I knew you could.
Many months ago at the Siege of Troy, my lady and I met a young
leather worker whose name I won't mention (but his initials are
TRISTAN MARQUEZ mka Beren Longstreet). We thought he did pretty
good work and seemed like a rather upstanding fellow. Maybe I'm
crazy, maybe I place too much trust in my fellow SCAdians, but,
we gave him a large sum of cash to make us each a pair of boots.
He said they should be done in a few weeks to a month.
Time passed. We didn't hear anything from him for about 2 months.
I decided it would be good contact him. I tried e-mail, phone,
and mail, all to no avail (hey that rhymes, need to work on the
meter). We finally caught up with him at Pennsic. He told us all
about personal/mundane problems he had been having. We felt sorry
for him and decided to give him another chance. He gave us a
beautiful belt he had made as collateral and promised he'd get us
the boots by Crown Tourney.
NOT! (Survey says...XXX, wrong again, you lose, game over.)
Where is this man? I have tried repeatedly to contact him and
have heard nothing. Nada. Nichts. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Is he still
alive? At this point I don't really care. I've given him plenty
of chances. I want my boots or my money. He's had many
opportunities to get in touch with me (I'm not hard to find). And
so I would like to offer for sale to the patrons of this fyne
establishment, the lovely, hand tooled leather girdle he placed
in our custody. Some of you may have seen it at the Feast of
Herne. More of you may see it on display at 12th Night at my
lady's merchant booth. We are offering it for $150 or the highest
Some of you may think me a bad person for ridiculing him so in
this public manner (it being a private matter). Maybe he has run
into difficult times, but business is business. I also maintain
that public ridicule (stocks, hanging, maiming, etc.) are very
useful and authentic forms of punishment and should be used
regularly (just watch the crime rate plummet).
Anyone who knows Tristan may want to pass this missive on to him.
He can call me at 919-319-1910. Or write to me at:
120-7 Byrum St.
Cary, NC 27511
Tavernkeep! I'll have a Mallard Fizz with a twist of lemming, if
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