Re: my posting

[Beiskaldi <Beiskaldi@aol.com>]

Poster: Beiskaldi <Beiskaldi@aol.com>

In a message dated 98-01-20, CptnBnytng@AOL.COM writes:

<<   My stsrting intent was to publicly make the same offers that I have made
to
 the 'crats, but I began to think of all the other stuff going on and just had
 to let everyone know why the SCA is loosing me along with so many others.
    I acknowledge that there are a lot of good people in the society... but
 it's those of the ilk who fit the "you" i wrote about that screw the pooch
for
 me.
   >>


    My good gentle lord, I can understand fully the problems which you
describe, as I have also been witness to such actions.  In one memorable
instance, a certain  lord (not one of our knights or squires) displayed his
"chivalry" in coming off the fighting field before my cousin, who had come to
this event at my invitation, and after I had talked endlessly about how
courteous and chivalrous and so forth scadians were.  Needless to say, she was
quickly turned off, and this episode set the tone for the rest of her day.
She has indicated that she will not attend another sca event.

    I can understand the hows and whys of individuals leaving.  It has crossed
my mind on occasion, and I have only been in the society for 3 years--a mere
baby compared to many others i know who have been in for so much longer and
been privy to much more politicking than I. 

    However, I must ask your indulgence to consider several things.  First, as
one other person has mentioned in this format, when one deals with a group of
any sort of this size, there are going to be persons who spoil the fun for
others, and even go out of their way to do so.  I am not pointing fingers or
making accusations at anyone, only stating what I have observed over the years
(believe it or not, I was once less talkative than I now am, and it is amazing
what one can see when one has eyes and ears open and mouth shut).  I deal with
such things and such people, as I am sure we all do, at work, at home, in our
modern lives.  Since they have as much right as I to be involved, I can only
see to do my imperfect best to live up to the ideals that our society upholds,
although I freely admit that I have not always been able to do so myself.

    For another thing, I have heard complaints similar to yours quite
frequently recently.  I have read it here, I have been told such things in
person by friends and acquaintances.  Many of these people have expressed a
solution the same as yours--leaving the sca, whether for a short time or
permanently.

    I must say that I don't believe this is the best solution.  This can only
result in encouraging those that you describe that fit into the "you" category
to continue unchecked and unchallenged in their actions.  If you and I and
others like us who do not like this sort of behavior leave, who will stay to
uphold the standards of behavior that we desire?

    A friend of mine, Lord Adam of Erin, said recently, don't walk away from,
walk towards.  I agree with him, and what he meant by it.  He was saying, if
you see something you don't like going on, don't walk away from it and allow
it to continue.  Instead, get involved and do what you can to change things
for the better.  Set an example for others.  If you see a fighter (of any
kind) not fighting chivalrously, make sure you are not doing the same.  If a
newcomer is being chided for his or her period garb or lack thereof, step in
and give suggestions on how to improve, compliment what they have that is
good, offer to help them learn what they need.  Show that the critics are not
in the majority.  If things in your local branch are not going the way you
would like, speak up and be heard--last I checked, that was what the business
meetings are for.

    My intention in this note is not to criticize you for what you have
said--in fact, I thank you for speaking out and saying what is on your mind.
I hope more gentles do the same here and in general.  But don't stop there.  I
know of a quote that sums it up better than I could, although I dont recall
the person who said it:  "Don't worry that your castles are in the air; that
is where they should be.  Now put the foundations under them."

In service to the dream, both in my interpretation of it and the
interpretations of others,

Thyra
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