Humor from Fergus of Hanna

[Razmus the Innocent <azrael@access.digex.net>]

Humor offered up by Lord Fergus of Hanna of Highland Foorde
  [with minor changes, interpretations, and additions from Razmus the Innocent]

King - leaps high castle walls in a single bound.
       more powerful than a horde of screaming Mongols
       faster than a speeding crossbow bolt
       walks on water
       directs policy to God

Prince - leaps low castle walls in a single bound
         more powerful than a group of screaming Mongols
         as fast as a speeding crossbow bolt
         swims well
         talks to God

Earl Marshall - leaps low castle walls with a running start
                as powerful as a group of screaming Mongols
                almost as fast as a speeding crossbow bolt
                [can doggy paddle]
                talks to God if special request is honored

Chivalry - Can barely leap high fences
           looses tough war with Mongols
           can fire a crossbow
           [usually floats if out of armor]
           occasionally addressed by God

Member of the Order of the Laurel -
           makes high marks on the attempt to leap low castle walls
           gets run over by horde of screaming Mongols
           can sometimes handle a crossbow without injuring themselves
           [can float on water, but only if properly documented]
           talks with animals

Autocrats - climbs walls continuously
            runs from screaming Mongols
            plays games of chance with his or her crossbow
            [Doesn't have time to walk on water]
            prays a lot ("No rain" [or snow])

Lesser Nobility - runs into walls
                  can recognize screaming Mongols two out of three times
                  issued crossbow, but no bolts
                  can stay afloat if holding onto a large log or barrel
                  talks to walls

Peasants - falls into moat while attempting to enter castle
           upon noticing screaming Mongols says, "see the pretty horses."
           shoots themselves in the foot every time they handle a crossbow
           plays in the moat
           [talk to themselves]

Seneschal - picks up castle walls and walks under them
            stops a horde of screaming Mongols with a glance
            catches crossbow bolts in her teeth and eats it
            [parts the water, or orders it to MOVE]
            she IS God

-- 
              Razmus the [Innocent | Pure] of Norwode
               AKA: Rich Weissler [azrael@access.digex.com]
              "Victim of a Random Shooting on the Infobahn."
It's always a good idea to be able to laugh at yourself....other
people are probably laughing at you anyway.            -Anonymous