Fireside song

[EoganmacL@aol.com]

<Eogan saunters up to the fire, kilt swishing, boots knocking against the
wooden floor>

Hello, ladies!  The warm fire and pretty faces pulled me this way! <checks
over his shoulder to see if his Lady isn't listening nearby.>

Why, hello, Deirdre!  I heard you mentioning something about good Viking
tales.  Where here's one that dates back to, oh, I'd say darn near a week
ago.  I thunk it up meself after being inspired at Ymir.  It may not be what
you would call a "good" Viking tale, but I'm sure it will get a few laughs.
 Here goes, with my apologies to the Brothers Allman.

BJORN THE VIKING
tune:  Rambling Man

CHORUS
Thor, I am Bjorn the Viking Man
Try to make a livin' by raiding where I can
When your homes are burnin' I hope you understand
That I am Bjorn the Viking Man.

My father raided on the shores of England
And wound up on the wrong end of a sheep
I was born in the stern of a longboat
Rollin' on the waves of the North Sea.

CHORUS

I'm sailin' to some foriegn shore this morning
It doesn't much matter where I land
I'll steal their gold and burn their homes and never blink an eye
Rape each girl and murder every man

CHORUS

I'm plunderin'  a coastal town in Iceland
Dinkin' mead till I can drink no more
I'll sing along with a battle song between every mug
My belly full and my arms around a whore

CHORUS

Some day I'll wind up in Valhalla
When in battle I am overcome
But until that day I'll sail away to rape, burn, and plunder
So all you puny weaklings better run.

CHORUS

Thor, I am Bjorn the Viking Man...
Thor, I am Bjorn the Viking Man...
...ad nauseum.

Thank you, thank you, thank you very much.
<ducking rotten tomatoes, cantalopes, watermelon>

Aye,
Eogan