Re: Question about Favors

[Kim.Salazar@em.doe.gov]

     To lady Deoca of Elvegast, from Ianthe, greetings.
     
     Please excuse me for replying to your message.  The use and obligations 
of 
     favors were topics dear to me in ages past.  Anything I relate here is 
     Ancient Eastern Usage.  I invite more modern gentles to add 
descriptions of 
     how such things have changed.
     
     The gift of a favors implies whatever you wish.  By this, I mean that 
they 
     signify no standard relationship.  In particular favors do not 
     automatically mean the exchange of more initmate "Favors".  I have 
given 
     favors to signify everything from deep and abiding love; warm 
friendship; 
     to  encouragement or inspiration for a new fighter authorizing that day.
  
     Anyone may ask for or give a favor - and anyone may decline the honor 
     tendered, or the request for one.  No reason beyond a warm smile, and 
     thankfulness for the honor extended need be given.
     
     Favors may be any object, preferably of personal significance to the 
     giver. They may be elaborately embroidered "dedicated favor objects" - 
the 
     dishtowl shaped things many people use.  In the Ancient Days, other 
things 
     were more popular gifts than dedicated favor objects. I have seen 
people 
     exchange sleeves, belts, veils, hair ornaments, ribbons, bodice lacings,
 
     jewelry, a lock of hair, favorite stirring spoon, a spur - in fact all 
     manner of things.  The strip of embroidery Don Fernando wears is a 
     dedicated object, but has stitched into the lining my original favor to 

     him - a lock of my hair.  His favor to me is the silver horse pin I 
always 
     wear with my garb.
     
     Favors can be given for any period of time.  I have asked lords to 
carry 
     my token for an afternoon; a performance; a battle; a war week; a 
tourney 
     season; for an unspecified duration; or (in the case of my lord 
husband) 
     for life.  
     
     The exchange of favors isn't limited to exchange between fighters and 
     non-fighters.  Anyone can give or receive a favor, but they should be 
aware 
     that there are obligations involved.
     
     In the lists, (or at public performance,) the recipient is obligated to 

     acknowledge the giver (bows and/or Meaningful Glances are nice 
depending on 
     the context).  The recipient should also realize that their conduct has 
a 
     direct reflection on the giver.  Dishonorable acts or speech taint both.
 
     Recipients should strive to be the models of gentility, and so render 
honor 
     to the giver.
     
     In their turn, the giver is obligated to the recipient.  Their conduct 
     reflects on those they gifted.  If someone in the lists or performing 
is 
     wearing a person's favor, to the extent possible, the giver should be 
     attentively watching, lending encouragement to their champion.  The 
watcher 
     should behave with decorum (for example, shrieking out insults to the 
     person one's champion is fighting is not an admired behavior).
     
     If a favor is given with the understanding that it is for a limited 
time, 
     the object should be surrendered at the end of that time.  Asking to 
keep 
     it longer is acceptable, but unless you're Duke Merriwald (a noted 
     favor-collector), accumulating a double handfull of favor objects is 
seen 
     as being a tad too lighthearted about giver/recipient obligations.  
     Nothing however (beyond the specific understandings held with a 
     Significant Other) limit anyone to bearing or giving only one favor at 
a 
     time.  
     
     Three men currently hold my tokens:  Don Fernando; Duke Vissevald (Don 
     Fernando's sword brother) and a gentle in the Middle Kingdom who I 
believe 
     is named Sean.  (I met this last fellow mundanely - he recognized me 
from 
     years past, and begged a favor from me in the middle of a business 
     conference, surrounded by mundanes.  I obliged him, although obviously 
I 
     could not watch him in the lists).
     
     I hope this helps, and I hope I have tread on no toes, posting the 
     behavior standards of a time long ago, and far away.
     
     
     -Ianthe d'Averoigne                                kim.salazar@em.doe.
gov
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