Re: FIRST KNIGHT (some spoilers?)

[Karen Elisa Green <kgreen2@osf1.gmu.edu>]

Xavier asks for a non-spoiler review ... and so I shall have to do my 
best.  (Because, as you know, that is all I can do.)

If you're into films that depict credible medieval clothing or armor, 
forget it.  I had seen the armor in advance (at a Rennfaire in Caid where 
I met Terry English, of English Arms & Armor, as well as his son, who was 
always being shoved to one side of the booth or another and really didn't 
look like he was having a good time at all, poor lad), so I knew what to 
expect on that angle.  From the clothing, I'd say it's a variation on a 
12th-11th century theme; from the architecture, well, it's a combination 
of early and middle Gothic with a great deal of Cluniac and Romanesque 
overtone; from the armor ... well ... umm ... remember the fits I was 
throwing over the pants on the English armies in BRAVEHEART?  You're not 
going to *believe* this stuff ...

If you're a fan of the King Arthur story because you like the 
supernatural aspects, forget it.  Merlin?  Gone.  Morgan?  No such 
animal.  Mordred?  Nada.  As a matter of fact, if you're a fan of the 
King Arthur story at all, forget it.  The only characters you're going to 
see are Arthur, Lancie, and Gwennie.  Of the other knights of the round 
table, there ain't much.  There is no Bors/Bedevere/Bedoweyne (or 
whatever he's calling himself these days), no Galahad, no Kay, no any 
other of the knights that I can never remember their names.  The only 
knights called by name (other than Lancie) are Agravaine and Malagent.  
(And Malagent -- big spoiler *here* -- is the bad guy.)

HOWEVER -- if you *are* a fan of action costume dramas, or of 
Harlequin-esque romance stories (ptooie!) then by all means see the 
film.  It's got great hack & slash (forgot to check to see who 
swordmaster was but darned if it didn't *look* like Bob Anderson's work) 
and a lot of nifty battle scenes and some really funny parts.  (Keep your 
eyes out for the Jawas in the battle scenes and the Ewoks at the end of 
the film.  And the woman yelling "BOO!  BOO!  BOO!" in the court scene.)  
A lot of pretty swords, too (although I thought Malagent's was a little 
too Kurgan-esque -- a serrated edge on one side? Puh-LEEZE!) and a lot 
of "Ah, I wish *I* had thought of that!" or "Gee, aren't those the arming 
pavilions from the KNOWN WORLD HANDBOOK?" and suchlike.

If you *do* go to this movie, go in garb.  It'd probably be more of a 
hoot that way ;)

Hope I haven't spoiled it for ya, Xavier ...

Yours in Service to the Dream,

Lady Karen Larsdatter med det Usigelige Efternavn fra Skyggedal
Seneschale of the Incipient College of St. Stephen