Re: Death to the pipers! ;-)

["Eric J. Campbell" <ejcampbe@unity.ncsu.edu>]

On 3 May 1996, Mitake A. Holloman wrote:

> Can anybody send me the words to "Who Kilt the Piper?" There are some people up
> in these far northern lands that what to learn it. Thanks.
> 
> Mitake, still stuck to Atlantian ways up in the East.
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can anyone patch up the parts I can't remember
thanks
-Xavier 

all civ-lized lads love the highlanders pipes
but some folks just don't agree
some like them way off in the mountain 
or from deep beneath the sea


your average lad knows a song or two 
a really good piper knows three
he'll pplay each one till his face turns blue
then he'll play it again for free


and the fart of a god in his blow



the piper was playing tae early
he lost many a friend on that day
and when they found his poor body 
all his limbs had been hacked away
(chorus)


they found one arm in the bushes
and his head plaved up on a pole
and it seemed that each of his tushes
had been turned and shoved up his hole

they pulled out the arrows from his forehead
and placed them all into a sack

and pulled out the knife from his back



They searched the entire city
for the fiends that had done him in
they found a dutch mercenary 
with black greasy fur on his chin

there was also a swede and a norman
and a greek merchant from crete (not sure here the exact words)
they loathe yon scots like barbarians
and had never heard music so sweet

they said the song of the piper
was the same as some poor tortured cat
the admitted to treason and murder
they went to his grave and they spat

a mountain of kilts jumped the scoundrels
and cursed them for what they had din
they beat them with golf clubs and cudgels
and made them pay for their sins

and now each morn before sunrise 
his ghost comes back from the grave
he plays them a tune fom his bagpipes 
and he only knows scotland the brave

chorus
(then enter the kazoos playing scotland the brave)


chorus
OHH
who killed the piper 
who burned his kilt
who cracked his chanter 
and made his bag wilt

who pulled out his fingers
who broke all his bones
and who was the bugger
who burried his drones

There can be only juan!
                         <100% columbian coffee> 
Eric Jon Campbell Sr Textile Engineering at NCSU
(alias) Xavier Campbell amateur blacksmith and brewer


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