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Flatulence and Courtesy




Poster: David KUIJT <kuijt@umiacs.UMD.EDU>


Greetings to Cheapside from Dafydd ap Gwystl!

Giving advice about proper behavior, I wrote:

> Follow this rule--if you think you have offended, then immediately
> fart really loudly.  In genteel Atlantian society, this is tantamount
> to a public apology [...]


Upon re-reading my sources, I find that I may have mistranslated the
manuscript involved.  The original could also be translated as:

	"In Atlantia, fart, and you shall be forgiven"

And it may be that this is rather a statement of how Atlantians are
kindly towards those in intestinal distress, rather than my earlier
interpretation (above) regarding flatulence as a method of apology.

In point of fact, a third interpretation occurs to me, which is that
this is a metaphor for the forgiving nature of Atlantians rather than
a specific admonition to let loose.  Without further supporting information
about the frequency of legumes in the Atlantian diet and the success of
food-preservation techniques, any further interpretation is just
supposition.  Too many questions remain, although I will not spell
them out explicitly lest I offend by being too scatalogical (and truly,
in the light of this revelation, I would not know how to begin to 
apologize properly, if I was to be offensive).

I apologize to those, like poor Falcone, who may have been led astray
by my earlier statement, and I hope that he has not found himself in
some awkward contretemps because of too-literal following of my advice.

This sort of social disaster illustrates the danger of imperfect
research, and of rushing to publish without considering the horrible
impact upon the innocent.  Hopefully further documents will come to
light that will allow students of Atlantian courtesy to verify one
of the conjectures above.

Seriously,
Dafydd ap Gwystl
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