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Cold Weather
Poster: James and/or Nancy Gilly <KatieMorag@worldnet.att.net>
>Sender: Renaissance Dance Mailing List <RENDANCE@morgan.ucs.mun.ca>
>From: Deborah Sweet <dssweet@OKWAY.OKSTATE.EDU>
>To: Multiple recipients of list RENDANCE <RENDANCE@morgan.ucs.mun.ca>
>Subject: Cold Weather
>Date: Fri, 17 Jan 97 18:06:16 +0000
>
>
>This is wonderful. Debby
>
>
>______________________________ Forward Header
__________________________________
>Subject: Cold Weather
>Author: Jacqueline Molloy at Arts-and-Sciences-2
>Date: 1/17/97 9:53 AM
>
>
>
>---------- Forwarded message ----------
>
>The coldest air of the season is now entering the United States. As a
>public service, I am providing the following temperature table to show
>you the effects of and help you deal with the impending arctic blast.
>
> (degrees Fahrenheit / Celsius)
> +50 / +10
> * New York tenants turn on the heat
> * Wisconsinites plant gardens
> * Airmass too stable for supercells
>
> +40 / +4
> * Californians shiver uncontrollably
> * Wisconsinites sunbathe
>
> +35 / +2
> * Italian cars don't start
>
> +32 / 0
> * Distilled water freezes
>
> +30 / -1
> * You can see your breath
> * You plan a vacation in Florida
> * Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
> * Wisconsinites eat ice cream
>
> +25 / -4
> * Boston water freezes
> * Californians weep pitiably
> * Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you
>
> +20 / -7
> * Cleveland water freezes
> * San Franciscans start thinking favorably of LA
> * Green Bay Packers fans put on T-shirts
>
> +15 / -10
> * You plan a vacation in Acapulco
> * Cat insists on sleeping under the covers with you
> * Wisconsinites go swimming
>
> +10 / -12
> * Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
> * Too cold to snow
> * You need jumper cables to get the car going
>
> 0 / -18
> * New York landlords turn on the heat
> * Sheboygan brats grilled on the patio, yum!
>
> -5 / -21
> * You can hear your breath
> * You plan a vacation in Hawaii
>
> -10 / -23
> * American cars don't start
> * Too cold to skate
>
> -15 / -26
> * You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
> * Miamians cease to exist
> * Wisconsinites lick flagpoles
>
> -20 / -29
> * Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
> * Politicians actually do something about the homeless
> * People in Green Bay think about taking down screens
> * Every other storm chaser thinks air is too stable for
> supercells
>
> -25 / -32
> * Too cold to kiss
> * You need jumper cables to get the driver going
> * Japanese cars don't start
> * Milwaukee Brewers head for spring training
>
> -30 / -34
> * You plan a two-week hot bath
> * Pilsener freezes
> * Bock beer production begins
> * Wisconsinites shovel snow off roof
>
> -38 / -39
> * Mercury freezes
> * Too cold to think
> * Wisconsinites button top button
>
> -40 / -40
> * Californians disappear
> * Car insists on sleeping in your bed with you
> * Wisconsinites put on sweaters
>
> -50 / -46
> * Congressional hot air freezes
> * Alaskans close the bathroom window
> * Green Bay Packers practice indoors
>
> -60 / -51
> * Walruses abandon Aleutians
> * Sign on Mount St. Helens: "Closed for the Season"
>
> * Wisconsinites put gloves away, take out mittens
> * Boy Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby
>
> -70 / -57
> * Glaciers in Central Park
> * Hudson residents replace diving boards with hockey nets
> * Green Bay snowmobilers organize trans-lake race to Sault Ste.
> Marie
>
> -80 / -62
> * Polar bears abandon Baffin Island
> * Rhinelander Birkebeiner
> * Girl Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby
>
> -90 / -68
> * Edge of Antarctica reaches Rio de Janeiro
> * Lawyers chase ambulances for no more than 10 miles
> * Minnesotans migrate to Wisconsin thinking it MUST be warmer
>
> -100 / -73
> * Santa Claus abandons North Pole
> * Wisconsinites pull down earflaps
>
> -173 / -114
> * Ethyl alcohol freezes
> * Only Door County cherries usable in brandy Manhattans
>
> -297 / -183
> * Oxygen precipitates out of atmosphere
> * Microbial life survives only on dairy products
>
> -445 / -265
> * Superconductivity
>
> -452 / -269
> * Helium becomes a liquid
>
> -454 / -270
> * Hell freezes over
> * Chicago Cubs win world series
> * Roger Edwards sees a wedge tornado
>
> -456 / -271
> * Texas drivers drop below 85 MPH on I-35
>
> -458 / -272
> * Incumbent politicians renounce campaign contributions
>
> -460 / -273 (Absolute Zero)
> * All atomic motion ceases
> * Wisconsinites admit it's getting a mite nippy
>
-----------------------------
James and/or Nancy Gilly
katiemorag@worldnet.att.net
**** REUNITE GONDWANALAND!!
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