Scatalogical Truths

[David KUIJT <kuijt@umiacs.UMD.EDU>]

Poster: David KUIJT <kuijt@umiacs.umd.edu>



Alfredo said: (at several removes)

> > > But why should they be obliged to fool the eye?
> > > I've met a great many _temporal_ transvestites
> > <snip>
> > > But I almost never call them on it.  Why should I not extend
> > > the same courtesy to _gender_ transvestites?

And more recently:

> I guess I was really responding to something that someone else
> had posted earlier:
> 
>   "If they tell me to treat them like a man, I treat them like
>    a woman in man's clothing who asks to be treated like a man"

I am the one who said that.  And I think you, and others, have slightly
misread what I said.  Consider: It is IMPOSSIBLE to treat a woman in man's
clothing like a man, unless you are totally oblivious to their real
gender. 

To make this obvious I will need to get a little crude: I do not behave
the same in excretory or sexual situations towards men and women.  When I
urinate, I react differently if a man comes by, or if a woman does.  When
a woman makes a pass at me, I react differently from when a man does.

So again, I say that if I meet a woman in man's clothing who tells me to
treat them like a man, I will treat them like a woman who wishes to
pretend she is a man.  Exactly what that means depends upon the situation,
but it will never be the same as treating her as a man.  If a woman wishes
to be called "milord", I will usually do so (when I remember).  But I will
feel that she is exceeding the bounds of courtesy if she uses the men's
bathroom rather than the women's, and I will not be comfortable changing
clothes in front of her if she is a stranger, and so on.  Sexual humour
and conversation is more or less appropriate depending upon the gender of
the audience. 

What's my point?  I will treat people with courtesy regardless of the
clothes they wear.  But if they wish to alter my gender-based behavior, I
will only do so to a point.  In certain subject areas the request itself
is unreasonable and perhaps even offensive.  As a male heterosexual, I
will find it offensive if a man in woman's clothing kisses me on the lips
without invitation, regardless of the gender they are portraying. 


Considering the vast number of persona transvestites in Atlantia at the
moment, this is a bit of a tempest in a teacup.  Since I brought it up in
the first place (off an elf-ears thread), I suppose it is my fault :^)


Dafydd ap Gwystl


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