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[owner-steps-announce@antir.sca.org: BOUNCE steps-

Poster: krenn@antir.sca.org

Not really steps-announce material, but probably OK for steps consumption. :)

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Date: Wed, 28 May 1997 15:12:55 -0700 (PDT)
From: owner-steps-announce@antir.sca.org
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Subject: BOUNCE steps-announce@antir.sca.org: Approval required:     

>From owner-steps-announce  Wed May 28 15:12:54 1997
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Date: Wed, 28 May 1997 15:17:19 -0700 (PDT)
From: Angela Jolene Ajootian <anasha58@gladstone.uoregon.edu>
To: steps-announce@antir.sca.org
Subject: SCA pick up lines. (fwd)
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i apologize for passing on such a lengthly document, but i'm avoiding a
research paper and this IS something else to do. ;)

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Date: Wed, 28 May 1997 14:24:32 -0700 (PDT)
From: Kris Leighty <syndec@jersey.uoregon.edu>
To: Angela Jolene Ajootian <anasha58@gladstone.uoregon.edu>
Subject: SCA pick up lines. (fwd)

For your edification and amusement.

Bodger & Grift's Medieval Pick Up Lines

  1. I have the key to your chastity belt and you have the key to my
  2. Can I hose down your doublet?
  3. Your eyes are as dark as a castle moat by midnight. Lower your
     drawbridge and let me cross.
  4. You should be glad I'm not a Viking. You would have been ravaged and
     plundered by now.
  5. What's a nice maiden like you doing in a dungeon like this?
  6. Come up and see my scrolls.
  7. You can scale my battlements any day, madam.
  8. You scratch my boils and I'll scratch yours.
  9. They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know.
 10. My that's a fine set of chalices you have there.
 11. Ssh, I don't want everyone to know I'm on a secret holy quest.
 12. When the Inquisition put me on the rack, my limbs weren't the only
     thing they stretched.

Bodger & Grift Reader's Pick Up Lines

  1. That's a nice chastity belt you're wearing. My blacksmith friends and
I can help you out of it. 
  2. Honest, milady, it will help clear up the pox marks. 
  3. Is that a knife in you're armor? Or are you just happy to see me? 
  4. Hey baby, King Arthur isn't the only one with a big round thing. How
     'bout coming up and waxing mine?
  5. Looks like my dragon has finally found a nice cave to rest in.
  6. Hey, Princess, you wouldn't happen to know where a lonely knight
could scabbard his sword, would you?
  7. It's not the size of your sword but what you can do with it.
  8. Been there, slain that. 
  9. Your hovel or mine? 
 10. Pestilence makes the heart go wander.
 11. How'd you like to ride my stallion? He's well trained for battle! 
 12. Pardon me, madam, but wouldeth thou like to see my longsword in
 13. Every second of every our of every day is like a thousand knives of
     fire stabbing me in the heart. I long for thee incessantly, so much
     that mine sorrow seems without surcease. My alliteration is small
     comfort next to the warm gaze of thine azure eyes. I carve the
comfort of thine embrace like some lost child cold and alone in the
dark....So, you wanna fuck?
 14. You wanna go upstairs and see my Holy Grail? 
 15. I like the cut of your jib.
 16. My goat bite is no longer infected, so would you like to dance? 
 17. If I were that horse, I'd rather you mounted me without the saddle. 
 18. How about going out with a guy who doesn't have the plague for a
 19. Wizard: You know, my hat isn't the only thing that's pointed. 
 20. Mlle. Darc, thy breastplate is wondrous! Wouldst thou hold my polearm
     whilst I attempt to light thy fire? 
 21. Do you practice safe hex? 
 22. You look like a maiden in distress, why don't I save you? 
 23. Oh yea baby- black plague, leprosy, or scarlet fever- honey, I've got
     the cure for you.
 24. You is know that chastity belt of yours would look great on my
sleeping chambers floor.
 25. I had to swim the moat to get to you fair maiden. So, would you like
to see my breaststroke? 
 26. I bet you would look nice in some maternity armor. 
 27. Wench: what's that sound? Knight: that's just the sound of my chain
     mail drawers expanding. 
 28. You hit on me harder than the black plague! 
 29. Why storm the castle when we can make our own?
 30. The first time I saw thee, I felt as if my stomach had been raided by
     beautiful fire breathing dragons. Uh..in a nice way of course. 
 31. Excuse me, Milady, would you have a place where I may sheath my
 32. Why don't we go back to my place and re-enact "The Miller's Tale?"
 33. You won't believe this but St. George just appeared to me in a vision
     and told me that I must bed you...the fate of England depends on it!!
 34. Ever see a passion play? Would you like to? 
 35. I most certainly am King in bed! Shall I prove it to you? 
 36. So...been to any good hangings lately? 
 37. Don't worry . . . if you kiss me, I won't turn into a frog. 
 38. "Why, I once speared 10 of them with a single thrust."
 39. Don't believe the rumors you heard about me . . . the Bubonic plague
     didn't affect the important parts. 
 40. Like a mare, I can be ridden for hours. 
 41. They say a knight is always as hard as his armor. 
 42. I hath done combat with many a beast, but I must confess that was the
     tightest situation I have ever been in. 
 43. How, you ask, did I get up here to your balcony? Well, I espied you
     from yonder garden. In an instant my er, heart was swelled with lus..
     er, love. I had to meet you! So I ranneth over but tripped on a stone
     thusly pole-vaulting into your arms.
 44. If the stars in the sky were as beautiful as the eyes on thee, then
     they'd be really pretty. 
 45. Milady you can ride my horse. I must tell you, he's a wild one! 
 46. Would thoust be interested in viewing mine buttshaft?
 47. I've been VERY NAUGHTY. You'll have to put me in the stocks
and...er... PUNISH me, now won't you? 
 48. If quietus you make, I'll bare my bodkin for you.
 49. C'mon, sweetie...Didn't your mother ever tell you? A cleric a day
keeps the black plague away. 
 50. I'd rather be beheaded than be denied a date with you. 
 51. Sword fighting is like _everything_ else : it's all in your thrust. 
 52. I lost my leg in battle. Guess what I'm walking on! 
 53. Yes, fair maiden, I am indeed a wizard. Shall I make your clothes
 54. I'm really a prince cursed by an evil witch. Tell me, do you have sex
     with frogs? 
 55. No, I'm actually a wizard. Want to see my crystal balls? 
 56. Darling, these Trojans are rather painful...We may need some oil for
     this armor.
 57. I might have lost most of my limbs in battle but I've still got one
 58. You look like a maiden in distress, why don't I save you? 
 59. Hey, baby, wanna chain my mail?
 60. My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help you
     out of it.
 61. What a fine gown you wear, my lady. Perchance couldst I talk you out
of it? 
 62. I seem to have lost my sex slave, can I borrow you for a bit?
 63. You know, I was once imprisoned in a tower very much like Rupunnzel.
     Only it wasn't my hair that the queen asked me to let down. 
 64. A day just wouldn't be complete without a Knight. 
 65. Milady, I'll be your night in shining amour. 
 66. Like Marcellus Wallace, I wanna get Medieval or your ass! 
 67. How about coming around the back and giving me a good reason to come
     back from the crusades? 
 68. You know... I got my armor in Extra-Large just so I could fit the
both of us in here. What do you say? 
 69. The inquisitor: So, witch...up to you. Either you burn at the
     stake...or I use my stake to make you burn.
 70. I may not be a priest, but I can get you to heaven, m'lady. 
 71. I joust love you, baby! 
 72. Hey, milady,if you think that horse is gifted... 
 73. What say ye we have our own Norman conquest, lass? 
 74. Come up to my chamber and I'll show you the largest treasure in the
 75. Say, Princess, I'm very good at poking people with long pointy
 76. And you thought the Romans had the only impressive aqueducts.
 77. Milady, I heard that you were a chirogeon, I have something you can
 78. You can place your greeves under my pallet anytime.
 79. Paint on your shield "Smile if you want to sleep with me" and watch
     wenches try to keep straight faces. 
 80. Hey, big boy, how would you like to help this maiden out of
 81. Wanna polish my pike? 
 82. Ello, milady, thou art under siege. I shall scale thy battlements
with mine grappling hook! 
 83. The word of the day is legs. Lets go back to my place and spread the
     word. (Okay, okay, this isn't Medieval, but it *is* good and this is
my website, so I can do whatever I want!)
 84. Your beauty has scorched a hole into my heart as fast as a dragon in
     the mote. 
 85. My Lady, dost thou possess a looking glass in thine bodice? For I may
     surely see myself within their folds. 
 86. Iain Rannoch: May I carry that for you M'Lady? (I don't understand
     one, but I have a feeling it's good)
 87. Might I borrow a scroll? (Might I ask, what for?) I must write home
to my mother at once and tell her I have met the maiden of my dreams!
 88. Has anyone ever told you that you have a lovely wimple? 
 89. I'm from Nurenberg, but I'm a master at more than singing.
 90. May I show you a fascinating Saracaen ritual I learned while hiding
in a harem after Hattin? 
 91. I would wish a manly broadsword, not a pen-knife such as yours (from
a song) 
 92. Hey wench the rodent in my pocket wants to eat at your cheeze. 
 93. I am beset by this dragon in my loins, Dear Lady, and only you can
     quench its fire! 
 94. Oh, my sweet Knight! For a moment I thought I had died and gone to
     heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been
     brought to me.
 95. Where am I from, milady? Nantucket of course!! Shall I prove it to
 96. A world without day is gloomy indeed, but a world without Knight
     be pure misery.

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