another brick in the Hall (fwd)

[Michael Surbrook <susano@access.digex.net>]

Poster: Michael Surbrook <susano@access.digex.net>

Okay... I *had* to pass this on... it was *too* good.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Fri, 07 Nov 1997 14:33:47 -0500
From: Bill Bauer <bbauer@thalia.org>
To: wp@otd.com
Subject: another brick in the Hall 

An excellent parody passed on to me...

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 (You may remember this number from the "rock opera" that took an
 unflinching and highly personal look at the isolation, bitterness, and,
 frankly, the "grim corpse-hunger" that is the price of being a
 darkness-walking fiend from hell. It met with mixed reviews. Critics
 disliked its overwrought symbolism, such as the recurring theme of "The
 Hall.")
 
 -----
 (Grendel's) Mother
 
         (from "The Hall." Columbia Records, c. 750 AD. Out of print.)
 
 Mother, I'd like to eat some Scylds.
 Mother, will I have to pay wergild?
 Mother, I can't stand their merriment at all
         Mother, should I storm the Hall?
 Mother, couldn't they have offered me some mead?
 Mother, I'm off to find Hrothgar's friends and feed.
 Mother, how'd ya get involved with a guy like Cain?
         Mother, they'd never let me be a thane!
 
 CHORUS: Hush now Grendel, Grendel, dont you cry.
 Mother's gonna let you rampage from the swamp
 Mother's gonna let you take your deadly corpse-romp,
 Mother knows teen ogres can have a hard time,
 they naturally have these grim feuds with mankind.
 Mama will keep Grendel sinewey-strong,
 Ooooh Grendel, ooooh Grendel, oooooh Grendel,
 Of course you should perturb the Hall.
 
 Mother I'm back from Danish turf
 Mother did ya think of Beowulf?
 Mother, he just ripped your little troll apart!
         Ooooh, Mother, did I have to ransack Heorot?
 
 Hush now baby, baby, dont you cry.
 Mama's gonna go invade the hall for you
 Mama won't let ordinary swords get through (etc.)
 
 Ooooh Grendel, oooh Grendel oooh Grendel,
 You'll always be Grendel to me.
 
 (grandiose lute solo)
 
 Mother, have you seen my arm? (sudden ending)

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Bill Bauer                    |          "Viking is a verb, and a
bbauer@thalia.org       |  ---+---   /   longship is STILL the ultimate
http://www.thalia.org    \0-0-0-0-0-/    in rowing machines..."
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Shire Reeve, Markland Medieval Mercenary Militia      1973 VW CamperBus
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