[Fwd: ANST - You know you're Castle Trash if.... (fwd)] (fwd)

["Brett W. McCoy" <bmccoy@lan2wan.com>]

Poster: "Brett W. McCoy" <bmccoy@lan2wan.com>

This came from AEthelmearc:

-----Original Message-----
> ===================================================
>
> You know you're Castle Trash if......
> (slightly risqué, the sensitive should avoid )
>
> Your shroud of Turin is painted on velvet
>
> Your daughter's chastity belt has rusted
>
> You can't afford a cod piece................nobody notices
>
> You have more sheep dogs than sheep
>
> You sold your only horse to buy that jousting lance you just had to
have...
>
> The plague improved your complexion...........but only for a little while
>
> The Pope sends you to the Crusades...........in Norway
>
> Your armor is made from that foil that came with your chewing gum
>
> Your wife is stronger than your plow horse...but the horse is prettier
>
> The grail you brought home has "made in China" printed on the bottom
>
> Your wife says you have the smallest turret in the kingdom
>
> You won "most improved " at the tournament
>
> They call your daughter made Marian
>
> Your family crest is a chicken with a banner that says "peace before
> discomfort"
>
> Your sheep seem strangely nervous around your oldest son
>
> Your skullery maids laugh out loud when you call Edward The First ,"big
Ed"
>
> The Following were submitted by our visitors:
>
> You know you're castle trash if you're war tent says Wal-Mart on the top
> flap
> submitted by Anthony Davis
>
> You have to polish your own lance....a lot.
> submitted by Mike Nicholls
>
> Your portcullis is painted fluorescent lime green
>
> The torture chamber equipment is by "Acme Inc."
>
> The moat is full of old carriage tires
> submitted by The Mews
>
> Your hennin (pointed female headdress) is made out newspaper.
>
> Your jeweled sword handle consists of multi-colored jellybeans and
macaroni.
> submitted by Dragon's Whisper
>
> you have at least one suit of horse armor on blocks in your front yard
>
> You have the smithy weld a special pocket on your armor for your chew
>
> You have a sword rack behind the driver's seat on your carriage
>
> You don't understand why inbreeding in the monarchy is a problem
>
> You have many types of siege engines in your collection....only one or two
> work
>
> You had to have the serfs remove the wheels from your castle
> Submitted by Katherine J.H.
>
> The only dragon you've defeated is a purple one named Barney
> Submitted by David F./ Barbara H.
>
> Flushing the toilet disturbs the ducks in your moat.
> Submitted by Byron the Bard
>
> The sword in the sword rack of your carriage is rusted to the rack.
> Submitted by Robin S. Wills
>
> (This was found at http://www.clipartcastle.com/joke.htm . There is also
> some great clip art at this site)

Istvan Dragosani
                                         http://www.lan2wan.com/~bmccoy
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