Courtesy: plan of action

[LWright740@aol.com]

Poster: LWright740@aol.com

I too have had my act of holding a door snubbed.  I was coming into a store
and a woman and her 3 year old boy were coming out.  The toddler promptly
walked up and pushed open the door opposite the one I held open.  He didn't
want me to get the idea he wasn't a big boy. I got a real laugh out of it.

  My parents were older when they had me, so I was taught all the manors of
their generation.  If I were a man, I would stand when a woman enters a room.
I hold doors open for anyone, if I get there first, and I will always give up
my seat to a senior citizen.  I have gotten all sorts of looks in the modern
would.  People react to random kindness with looks of surprise to looks of
suspicion.

I have been impressed by certain knights and peer households that have made it
a point to train their squires and members in manors.  When you enter into a
household camp that has made a point to foster hospitality and courtly manors
it is like a breath of fresh air.  Everyone feels welcome and comfortable in a
household like this.  There is no feeling of snobbery or exclusiveness.  The
common man is not left embarrassed to shuffle from foot to foot while edging
to the door.  Escorts are offered for women walking after dark and encouraged
at large events.  Food, drink and a seat are always provided.

In a busy or large household and especially in a Royal household pulling off
gracious hospitality is no easy trick.  The leaders may be too busy to take
the time to insure individual treatment.  However with support from others in
the household and a welcoming atmosphere a passing moment with the household
head will speak wonders.  

Anyway before I start to sound like Martha Stewart, there are examples all
round us to inspire.  In an effort to improve my manors and courtesy skills I
have added what has inspired me.  As a lady I spend less time hauling stuff
and opening doors, but I do offer.  I go out of my way to provide drink and
fruit when people enter my camp.  I try to bring two chairs instead of one to
events.  I run errands and give rides when I can.

It seems that every 6 months the subject of chivalric courtesy comes up on the
list.  It would be nice to make a point of improving our own corners of the
world.  Like a new years resolution, we could set a goal of going out of our
way one extra time at each event.  Who knows some of the effort may become
natural and provide inspiration to others around us.

Hail Atlantia,
Lora Leigh
=======================================================================
List Archives, FAQ, FTP:  http://merryrose.atlantia.sca.org/
            Submissions:  atlantia@atlantia.sca.org
        Admin. requests:  majordomo@atlantia.sca.org