Re:in character

[Betty&David <Betty_and_David@compuserve.com>]

Poster: Betty&David <Betty_and_David@compuserve.com>

Message text written by INTERNET:atlantia@adm.csc.ncsu.edu
>Also, there are parts of Pedro's life and personality that I
really don't think I would ever want to either experience or
bring forward in a "persona-only zone." <

Forgive me for bringing up an old subject, but that is exactly why I,
personally, don't want to indulge in or encourage re-enactments of courtly
love and am a chilly neutral on the subject of having a male "help" me
carry my basket..  In your list of Pedro's prejudices, you did not include
his ideas about women and family responsibilities.  If you would like to
hear why I don't think that courtly love "empowers" women, I will be glad
to explain.  But you do not really need to understand someone else to be
considerate and respectfull of their wishes.    There is a very simple way
to avoid making a woman feel patronized by your chivalry.  Ask her, gently
and kindly, if she needs or wants your assistance, praise, etc. before
giving it and then heed her answer.  Be understanding and accepting if she
does not.  If she is rude, shrug it off as you would any other rudeness.  
It's that simple. 

Magdalena de Hazebrouck
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