Re: Why aren't you a ---------?

[Heather Swann <heather@pop.net>]

Poster: Heather Swann <heather@pop.net>

> Dear Denizens of the Merry Rose,
>     I have a request. If you like and respect your friends, please don't
> put them in a position where they must look at you with sadness and say, "I
> don't know."  Avoid, at all costs, any question that resembles this phrase
> : "I think you're so great, why aren't you a _________ (fill in the blank
> with any Kingdom/Society Award level) yet?"   If you wish to indicate your
> respect or admiration for the individual, try something such as "You're so
> great, I know that you're going to be a wonderful _____ when you're
> elevated." Then write a letter to Their Majesties and send a copy to the
> Principle of the Order - now that is the measure of a true admirer!
>     Please excuse the exasperated tone, I'm typing this in haste.
>
> In hurried service,
>  Rosine

Actually, I wouldn't mention awards to them.  Why raise their hopes?  Instead,
write the letter of recommendation and then thank your friend for what they've
done that's so great!  If they do get an award, what a wonderful surprise for
them and for you!  In the meantime, cook them dinner.  Take them to a movie.
Give them some nifty trim.  Or even just a hug and your thanks.

People used to say things similar to the above comments to me and after awhile
I just had to say, "Please stop.  I know you want to encourage me, and I'm
flattered you think I'm nifty enough to have a ______, but I don't do this for
awards and I don't want to be thinking about them.  Instead if you like what I
do, just thank me.  That's all I need.  A personal thank you at the right
moment beats the heck out of standing up in Court.  Awards are nice, but to be
thanked and know that you've helped someone personally is the greatest."

Miri

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