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As seen on the Middlebridge...




Poster: rmhowe <magnusm@ncsu.edu>

As seen on the Middlebridge...

 --------- Begin forwarded message ----------

To prove that others have a sense of humor -

               Thegn Ian

************************************************************
Troubled by the inconvenience and expense of conventional Royal
Progresses, not to mention the constant struggle to insure that
your Royalty is Properly Arrayed in the Manner Befitting Their
Station? Now, there is a solution, based on the well documented
late Roman practice of using a portrait of the Emperor to
denote Imperial authority when he could not be present in
person.

Yes, now REX 2-D (tm), another fine product from ScaVaporWare,
Inc., offers you the ultimate in Regal Convenience. Generate
the two-dimensional Royals you need using your color printer.
Choose from a variety of Royal Expressions (Majestic,
Benevolent, Stern but Fair, and Imitate the Action of the
Tiger). Likewise, a wide choice of Royal Robes, from Byzantine
to Tudor, as well as the ever-popular Scadian Generic
Quasi-Medieval. And choose from virtually infinite array of
fabric treatments, including elaborate brocades, which may, at
your option, be tiled with .gif files of the kingdom arms or
motif of your choice. Generate with or without depiction of Orb
and Scepter of Massy Gold studded with Rich Gems. And your
crown options are no longer limited by the limitations imposed
by potential terminal neckstrain. (ScaVaporWare intends to
offer regular update files with Even Bigger Gems (tm) so that
you can keep ahead of other, less splendid kingdoms with
smaller software budgets)

What about the Royal Presence? It's ScaVaporWare's position
that the Royal Presence does not exist outside the electronic
format until the REX 2-D image is generated as hard copy, and
then the presence only exists *in the plane of the image*. From
the observed doctrine that three dimensional royalty generate a
three dimensional presence, we may generalize that
n-dimensional royalty generate a n-dimensional presence, and so
it follows that a REX 2-D image generates a two dimensional
presence. This adds further convenience, as the Royal Image may
be printed out on a larger sheet that includes a delineation of
the edge of the Royal Presence, to avoid infringing on it by
mistake. Indeed, the program can fill the entire Royal Presence
with images of Respectful and Loyal Subjects, insuring that a
splendid, handsome, and well-dressed Royal Retinue is always
available, and that no transgressions against Royal Dignity can
occur.

Order your copy today

Galleron "Cut-me-own-throat" de Cressy
VP Sales and Marketing
ScaVaporWare, Inc.
mclean1382@aol.com

ScaVaporWare, Inc. extends the right to repost this press
release elsewhere.

--------- End forwarded message ----------
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