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Fw: Lilies War
Poster: "MTR/AAHR" <email@example.com>
Forwarded from the Calontir List. Interesting to read, but full of
----- Original Message -----
From: Kirk Poore <firstname.lastname@example.org>
>My Good Lady:
>I read your post on the Calontir list. I conclude, therefore, that you
>enjoy going to events in distant lands as I do. I've therefore included a
>copy of a message below which gives some details on our War of the Lilies
>next month. Since in Calontir it is considered poor form to post to a
>mailing list to which one does not subscribe, I decided to send this to you
>directly. For more information, you can visit the Lilies website at
>http://www.huscarl.com/lilies/index.htm or email the autocrat, Lord
>Gottfried, directly at email@example.com
>Master Kirk FitzDavid
>Ask H.L. Gottfried
>Meet your autocrat and get the important info you need!
>Dear H.L. Gottfried, who the hell are you and what makes you think you can
>run Lilies? Where is Dear Baron Tiberius?
>Dear Hostile and Presumptive, allow me to introduce myself. I have twice
>served as deputy to Tiberius as autocrat of Lilies and am a long time staff
>and committee member in other years as well. My former posts were running
>the site and land portions of the War. As for Tiberius, well lets just say
>he is having a bit of a lie down in a quiet room. Getting some well-earned
>rest, yeah let's say that.
>Dear H.L. Gottfried, I heard everyone who attended Lilies last year was
>killed by tornadoes, floods, killer bees and exotic tropical diseases! Is
>Absolutely and I am writing this from beyond the grave! Seriously, we had
>some big storms last year (who didn't) but no tornadoes. We read reports
>of them on the Rialto but there were not any actually at the War. And
>let's face it folks, bad weather can happen at any event. This time it
>just happened to be Lilies' turn. There were also reports of encounters
>with the minute wildlife of Missouri. Those little crawlies are another
>part of camping. Sorry. If you do notice any unusual reaction, at Lilies
>of any event, please see you doctor. Modern medicine can do wonders, use
>Dear H.L. Gottfried, I was thinking of going to the War of the Lilies but I
>also want to go to Pennsic. With such expensive site fees at war, I can
>only afford one; which one should I go to?
>Well, if you were choosing between just any two wars, finances might be a
>problem. But not so here. You see, while it might cost you an arm and a
>leg to attend Pennsic or Estrella for just a weekend, for a mere $20
>dollars you can have 10 fun filled days at Lilies ($25 for non-members).
>My advice to you is to start saving your pennies and selling your plasma to
>afford Pennsic. In the meantime, stay home just one Saturday night to
>afford Lilies. Because for less than you would spend for a date at the
>movies, you can pay for the Lilies War and have money left over for ice.
>Dear H.L. Gottfried, are you going to stick to the evening battle schedule
>that that old Tiberius started several years ago? If so, why?
>Hell yes! I am an old lazy Lordship. I foolishly believe events should be
>relaxing, like a vacation. Well, on my vacation I don't like to get up
>early to fight in the heat of the day while I am hung-over. Does fighting
>evening work? Absolutely! By 5:00p.m., not only are most of the fighters
>awake, but the day has cooled off. This leads to a more relaxed atmosphere
>for the more than 20 battles we have scheduled.
>Dear H.L. Gottfried, I'm a hot young stick looking to impress the knights
>and the ladies. Is there going to be enough fighting to make the trip
>worth while and show off my skills?
>I think we have more fighting than any one person can eat in one sitting.
>We have over 20 battles, 6 of which are resurrection battles, starting on
>Tuesday. In addition to all of the battles, there are tournaments during
>the day for those unwilling to wait until evening to fight.
>Dear H.L. Gottfried, can you recommend a good, cheap, kennel where my dog
>can stay while I'm at Lilies?
>NO. Bring your dog, cat, monkey, snake, goldfish, or whatever. Our only
>restrictions are no horses (rules of the park),. and the pet must be kept
>on a leash and cleaned up after. By the way, on a leash means that the
>non-animal end must be attached to you or a stationary object at all times.
> Cages and tanks count where appropriate.
>Dear H.L. Gottfried, I recently lost a lot of weight after being dumped by
>my last boyfriend (a creepy squire). Now I look great and own a skimpy new
>swimsuit. I figure the more time that I spend swimming the better my
>chances of meeting Lord Right. What are the swimming hours at Lilies?
>June 11th through 20th, our lake never closes. We have unlimited swimming
>where ever and when ever you like. However, there are no lifeguards.
>Since we are camped on a big peninsula, almost no one is more than 200
>yards away from a cool refreshing swim. Disclaimer: the staff is not
>responsible for who swims or what
>they wear after dark at the main beach area. P.S. Dear Lighter but
>Loveless, please send an 8x10 glossy so that I may better answer you
>Dear H.L. Gottfried, I understand that it can get hot and dry in the
>Midwest. Won't that make Lilies very uncomfortable?
>The temperature last year hovered in the 80's and the year before in the
>70's. As for dry, well, the air usually is, but the lake certainly isn't.
>That is why those lazy afternoons often have swimming as a scheduled
>Dear H.L. Gottfried, will I feel more secure because of all the security
>patrols and frequent site token checks like at Pennsic?
>Sorry, you will feel nervous and lose sleep the entire time. We only have
>nice commemorative coins to use as a site token, and we never ask to see
>it. This is, after all, a society based on honor. Since the camp is
>physically isolated from any developed areas, there are no security
>problems posed by non-SCA visitors.
>Dear H.L. Gottfried, I don't know anyone in Calontir, what if no one else I
>know shows up?
>Calontir is a friendly Kingdom. By law we must each be nice to 3
>foreigners a day. Lilies is a very relaxed and friendly event where the
>idea of walling off your camp is unheard of. Between the dancing, open
>parties and our communal bonfire, it is impossible not to meet people. Be
>warned though, back when poor old Tiberius wasn't even Lord Tiberius, he
>came to a Calontir event because a few Calon-friends urged him to visit.
>After that he had to move here, it was that addictive.
>Dear H.L. Gottfried, I don't fight. I was bored out of my mind during the
>last war that I went to. What is there at Lilies to keep me occupied?
>Well, beyond the archery, there are the Arts & Sciences classes and war
>points and games ranging from chess to bocce ball to hunkerhausen. Not to
>mention the swimming and dancing! The Royal University of Shir Havac will
>be holding their summer session at the war with scores of classes to
>attend. A schedule of classes will be available at the Troll Booth. Last
>year, there were so many classes offered you could begin and complete a
>RUSH degree at the war.
>Dear H.L. Gottfried, I'm not sure if I can get to Lilies yet. What is the
>pre-registration deadline? Does my group have to carefully spell our
>names? How many square feet of space do we get per person?
>I'm afraid we don't have pre-registration since we don't have lines at the
>Troll Booth. Why bother? We hope that you can come, but if you can't,
>you won't be watching your mail for a check from us. I'm also saddened to
>say that we can't afford a big land lottery program like Pennsic. We don't
>have square foot per person ratios. Camp on as much land as you need; just
>use consideration when dealing with your neighbors.
>Dear H.L. Gottfried, After standing in the shower lines for year at other
>wars, I have acquired a lawn chair, small library, canteen, alarm clock,
>and emergency food supplies. These items take a lot of space and my travel
>mates want me to pack lightly so some cute new bimbo can travel with us.
>Should I bring my shower
>line survival gear or my tent and bedding?
>If this were not Lilies, this would be a tough choice. But not now! Our
>on-site showers are seldom crowded. This is partially due to the option of
>driving to free, full service facilities just across the road in another
>of the park. Another reason is that so many people spend so much of their
>time in the lake, that they don't have time to stand in lines. P.S. Some
>of our locals make it a habit to leave the tent and bedding home and try
>and get cute, new ladies to shelter them overnight out of sympathy. Here
>is a hint, though: calling the ladies "bimbos" probably will not help.
>Dear H.L. Gottfried, I read in an old copy of another Kingdom's newsletter
>that 2 heralds had been accosted while making a 7:00am wake up cry. With
>my history of criminal assaults and late night revelry around the fire, I
>am afraid that I might be the next person to attack a morning herald.
>First, consider counseling. Violence is never acceptable. Then rest easy.
> We think Lilies is a vacation. While we don't post guards to keep you in
>your tent in the morning, we also don't schedule any activities before
>10:00 am. So please stay up late and enjoy sleeping in with a clear
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