Re: Courtesy and Honor in SCA

[BawdyLady@aol.com]

Poster: BawdyLady@aol.com

Greetings all,

I've been lurking here for a few months now and have followed some of these 
threads with great interest.   Allow me to emerge from the shadows long 
enough to add my two cents... this is a subject that's near and dear to my 
heart....and timely, too, as I remarked just the other day to a friend that 
it amazes me how a society based on the ideals of chivalry could consist of 
so many overwhelmingly inconsiderate people.  

In the past year and a half since I joined the SCA, I have seen backbiting, 
name-calling, political maneuvering and downright vicious/malicious behavior 
the likes of which would make most soap opera divas cringe.  (And doubtless I 
will be the subject of many such attacks once word of this post gets around.) 
 No, I don't know why I'm still in it if it's =That Bad=.  I renewed last 
fall with the expectation/hope that it would get better.  Instead, it has 
gotten worse.  So I am going to allow my membership to lapse after this year.

Our local group is a bit younger than most, both in terms of time in the SCA 
and chronological age of its members.  In fairness, I am willing to attribute 
the inability to "play well with others" primarily to a certain level of 
immaturity and lack of experience.  

However, I hold that there simply is NO EXCUSE for discourteous behavior the 
likes of which I have seen here.  Of course, I could be wrong... what do you 
think?

Is it too much to expect a "thank you" when extending an offer of assistance, 
even if the assistance is not needed or wanted?

Often times individuals are bad-mouthed for not volunteering their 
time/materials/work when they were never asked.  Is it too much to expect to 
be asked for your time/materials/work when they are needed?  

Paul was at Derek's house to borrow Derek's truck.  Mike called Derek's 
house, and when Derek answered the phone, Mike asked if he could speak to 
Paul.  Mike then asked Paul to use Derek's truck to pick up several large 
items for him.  Is it too much to expect that Mike would ask Derek directly, 
since it was Derek's vehicle?

Is it too much to expect, if you are in the home of another person and you 
spill a soda, that you wipe it up?  

Is it too much to expect when you loan something out, that you get it back 
within a reasonable amount of time (i.e., you don't have to ask for it back 
more than once) and that it is in just as good condition as when it left your 
possession?

<sigh>

Yes, maybe it is too much to expect.  



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