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The Village Idiot

One day, the Village Idiot ambled over to the base of my apple tree
and shouted up to me, "What are you doing?"

  Well, you may call me a fool, but I believe that even an idiot can
be educated, so I began to employ the Socratic Method on him.

  "What does it look like I'm doing?"
  "It looks like you're climbing a tree with a goat under your arm."
  "That is exactly what I am doing."
  "I meant to say, 'Why are you climbing a tree with a goat under your arm?'"
  "Then you should say that."

  At this point he paused for quite some time, absorbing my wisdom.  Then
he piped up again.

  "Why are you climbing a tree with a goat under your arm?"
  "That is a reasonably good question, Idiot.  Let's see if we can
reason it out.  You know that this goat is Hercule, my goat, and I
am responsible for him, yes?"
  "Yes, I know Hercule."
  "And do you know that he loves to eat apples?"
  "Since apples are a thing, yes.  Also, I can see that he seems to be
enjoying that apple now."
  "Very good.  And are you aware that, although goats are very skilled
at climbing mountains, they are quite unable to climb most trees?"
  "Yes, I recall when you ascertained that very fact."
  "Well, if you reflect for a moment on our conversation, you should
have the answer to why I am climbing a tree with a goat under my arm."

  He reflected as I suggested.  Then he came up with another question.

  "Wouldn't it save time if you climbed up the tree alone, and tossed the
apples down to the goat waiting below?"
  "Idiot," said I, losing all patience, "what does time mean to a goat?"

-- Alfredo

Alfredo el Bufon
Elvegast, Windmaster's Hill, Atlantia
Carpe dulcem diem -- Seize a nice day.
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