RE: Miriam at 19 days

[Louise Sugar <dragonfyr@tycho.com>]

YOU, sir, are a sick puppy  :D

Louise Who wishes that men had to live thru one pregnancy and labor of their own.....there sure as heck would be a population decrease  :D

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From: 	David H Ritterskamp[SMTP:dhritter@dpcmail.dukepower.com]
Sent: 	Wednesday, May 22, 1996 9:24 AM
To: 	atlantia@csc.ncsu.edu
Subject: 	Miriam at 19 days

     

     
     There's a song waiting to be (re)written here...
     
     "The Nineteen Days Before Delivery" [formerly known as "The Twelve 
     Days of Christmas, or, for the Tom Lehrer fans out there, "The Twelve 
     Days After Christmas."]
     
     [to the tune of "Twelve Days", of course]
     
     On the Nineteenth Day Pre-Birthing
     Did Miriam say to us,
     "Oi didna WANT to cause a muss 'n fuss."
     
     On the Eighteenth Day Pre-Birthing
     as we were prepping gauze,
     Miriam grabbed her husband, 
     snarling, "I'm in pain, go get me Haagen-Daaz!"
     
     On Day Seventeen Pre-Birthing
     [someone else write this verse!  Sheesh!]
     
     On the Sixteenth Day Pre-Birthing
     [this one too...I'm saving up for Day Five (the next one, of course)]
     
     On the Fifteenth Day Pre-Birthing
     the s**t did hit the fan;
     FALSE LABOR PAINS!
     Miri hit the roof
     We did too
     The baby went on strike
     And demanded better pay and working hours!
     
     [Hey, if you'd just had false labor pains [or even thought about them] 
     you probably wouldn't care if it rhymed or not...at least the meter 
     isn't too bad...]
     
     [skipping the intervening verses to save everybody]
     
     On the Eighth Day Pre-Birthing
     The kid could wait no more;
     Miri felt the kid kick
     Miri knew she'd been sick
     Miri's husband passed out
     Miri shrieked "You great lout!"
     All lost track of time and
     Noticed not the lack of rhyme and 
     Ran around in circles 
     Ambulance arriving
     Mir & kid departing
     Six geese a-laying [the next line is for "five"]
     [how'd that get in?][yes, that line was meant to be sung] 
     Hospital bills
     Up all night
     No-o rest at all
     And soon enough we'll do it all again!
     
     Hoping you found it amusing,
     J. Blackbow
     
     
     
     
     
______________________________ Forward Header __________________________________
Subject: Miriam at 19 days
Author:  "Terry L. Neill" <Neilltl@ptsc.slg.eds.com> at INTERNET 
Date:    5/20/96 9:07 AM
     
     
>Miriam--19 days and counting--give or 
>take
     
     
Miriam -
     
If you deliver at Emerald Joust, you will NOT fulfill my goal of an * 
unexciting* event.  (Autocrats hate "exciting" events!)
     
However, I want to go on record here to state that IF you make Emerald * 
exciting*, not only will you owe me three days of peace and quiet, but I 
expect the baby to be named either 'Emerald' or 'Terry', depending on sex.
     
;-^)
     
        - Anarra Karlsdottir
          (Terry L. Neill)
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