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It is just life
I have been in the SCA for about 8 years. I started to come to meetings
after a bad break up and wanted to get out and meet new people. I had a
great time and really enjoyed myself. Still do! There have been ups and
downs. People that I called friend and those I was polite to but had no
respect for. I've had boyfriends come and go with both nice break ups and
some ugly ones too. Trust me I drove my friends nuts talking about these
guys. I have also had friends come to my defence when someone was slandering
me. Let me tell you honey, I'm sure we have all riden the gosip grinding
mill....it dies down and life goes on.
Boyfriends, stand up yelling in meetings, the ways of wanton women, and
crazy wild parties with pigs and cows living together without the bonds
of..... never mind that's my next trick.
None of this compared to the real life highlights over the last 6 years.
My father died in Dec. 1990
My mother got breast cancer and had a breast removed in May 1992
I graduated NCSU-CVM May 1993 Without a job
My mother's breast cancer came back Nov. 1995
Mother moved in with me and I cared for her after radiation Dec. 1995
My Mother died the end of December 1996
Reclaiming my life in 1997 and sorting through 3 (12x12) sheds of memories
Friends SCA and non-SCA have been there to help me. Unfortunatly much of
this stuff has to be done on your own. All of these events caused great
amounts of anger, depression, and fear. I went to councelors and got
professional help. I felt much better once I let my anger go and forgave all
the terrible things in the world.
I don't care what happened! I am sure no one is inocent or guilty. It is
over, move on. Please get professional help and get some perspective.
I can tell you one thing, Gary is beyond caring about any of this nick nack.
I lost all the loved ones in my life and now I stand alone. If I am a pilar
of anger and hate I will drive the friends I need away.
When you experience the kind of crisis that the illness and death of a parent
produces .....all this is just noise.
Try doing it twice!
I ask your compassion for all those who suffer for whatever reason. I ask
that you forgive others for your sake and not their's. Love and cherish
those that are dear to you before they are gone.
What the hell am I supose to do for the hollidays?
Want to adopt an orphan......
P.S. I know my spelling sucks....oh well
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