-- BEGIN included message
- To: Susan Hazlett <shazlet@aloha.net>, Phil Eklund <phileklund@AOL.COM>, Norm Morris <gorean@AOL.COM>, Jan McEwen/Catriona <jmcewen@hawaii.edu>
- Subject: [Fwd: Merry X-mas Files]
- From: Al <arexu@aloha.net>
- Date: Fri, 19 Dec 1997 00:18:59 -1000
- Reply-To: sca-caid@galaxy.csuchico.edu
- Sender: owner-sca-caid@galaxy.csuchico.edu
I couldn't help it, this deserves reading... -------------------- Return-Path: owner-bgb@lists.neu.edu Received: from mail1.dac.neu.edu (mail1.dac.neu.edu [129.10.1.75]) by haleakala.aloha.net (8.8.5/8.6.9) with ESMTP id OAA01760 for <arexu@ALOHA.NET>; Thu, 18 Dec 1997 14:19:26 -1000 (HST) Received: (from majordom@localhost) by mail1.dac.neu.edu id TAA06968 for bgb-outgoing; Thu, 18 Dec 1997 19:17:07 -0500 (EST) X-Authentication-Warning: mail1.dac.neu.edu: majordom set sender to owner- bgb@lists.neu.edu using -f Received: from lynx.dac.neu.edu (lynx.dac.neu.edu [129.10.1.14]) by mail1.dac.neu.edu with ESMTP id TAA06975 for <bgblist@mail1.dac.neu.edu>; Thu, 18 Dec 1997 19:17:05 -0500 (EST) Received: by lynx.dac.neu.edu; id TAA01768; Thu, 18 Dec 1997 19:17:04 -0500 (EST) Received: (from smtp@localhost) by safety.worldcom.com (8.8.5/Interliant) id SAA04843; Thu, 18 Dec 1997 18:04:25 -0600 (CST) Received: from internet-504.interliant.com(198.64.193.30) by safety.worldcom.com via smap (V1.3) id sma004688; Thu Dec 18 18:04:25 1997 Received: by Internet-504.interliant.com(Lotus SMTP MTA v1.1 (385.6 5-6-1997)) id 86256572.0000AAA3 ; Thu, 18 Dec 1997 18:07:16 -0600 X-Lotus-FromDomain: ILGW @ ONESOURCE@INTERLIANT @ OUTBOUND From: "Peter Mancini"<Peter_Mancini@onesource.com> To: "UK Special Projects"<UK_Special_Projects@onesource.com> cc: Mancini@wefa.com, bgblist@lynx.dac.neu.edu, kenglish@alpinecsi.com, lynchj@netscout.com, barry.crowder@worldnet.att.net, chris@area51fx.com Message-ID: <86256572.0000A088.00@Internet-504.interliant.com> Date: Thu, 18 Dec 1997 16:01:02 -0500 Subject: Merry X-mas Files Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Sender: owner-bgb@lynx.dac.neu.edu Precedence: bulk Reply-To: bgb@lynx.dac.neu.edu Finally - a christmas joke email worth spreading! > >"The Xmas-Files" > > by Frank Cammuso and Hart Seely > 57 Elm Street > Bethlehem, Pa. > 11:51 p.m., December 24th. > > "We're too late! It's already been here." > > "Mulder, I hope you know what you're doing." > > "Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, > mounted, transformed into a shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly; > stockings hung by the chimney, with care." > > "You really think someone's been here?" > > "Someone, or something." > > "Mulder, over here--it's a fruitcake." > > "Don't touch it! Those things can be lethal." > > "It's O.K. There's a note attached: 'Gonna find out who's naughty and > nice.'" > > "It's judging them, Scully. It's making a list." > > "Who? What are you talking about?" > > "Ancient mythology tells of an obese humanoid entity who could travel > at great speed in a craft powered by antlered servants. Once a year, > near the winter solstice, this creature is said to descend from the >heavens > to reward its followers and punish disbelievers with jagged chunks of > anthracite." > > "But that's legend, Mulder--a story told by parents to frighten > children. Surely you don't believe it?" > > "Something was here tonight, Scully. Check out the bite marks on this > gingerbread man. Whatever tore through this plate of cookies was > massive--and in a hurry." > > "It left crumbs everywhere. And look, Mulder, this milk glass has been > completely drained." > > "It gorged itself, Scully. It fed without remorse." > > "But why would they leave it milk and cookies?" > > "Appeasement. Tonight is the Eve, and nothing can stop its wilding." > > "But if this thing does exist, how did it get in? The doors and > windows were locked. There's no sign of forced entry." > > "Unless I miss my guess, it came through the fireplace." > > "Wait a minute, Mulder. If you're saying some huge creature landed on > the roof and came down this chimney, you're crazy. The flue is barely > six inches wide. Nothing could get down there." > > "But what if it could alter its shape, move in all directions at > once?" > > "You mean, like a bowl full of jelly?" > > "Exactly. Scully, I've never told anyone this, but when I was a child > my home was visited. I saw the creature. It had long white shanks of fur > surrounding its ruddy, misshapen head. Its bloated torso was red and > white. I'll never forget the horror. I turned away, and when I looked > back it had somehow taken on the facial features of my father." > > "Impossible." > > "I know what I saw. And that night it read my mind. It brought me a > Mr. Potato Head, Scully. It knew that I wanted a Mr. Potato Head!" > > "I'm sorry, Mulder, but you're asking me to disregard the laws of > physics. You want me to believe in some supernatural being who soars > across the skies and brings gifts to good little girls and boys. > Listen to what you're saying. Do you understand the repercussions? If > this gets out, they'll close the X-files." > > "Scully, listen to me: It knows when you're sleeping. It knows when > you're awake." > > "But we have no proof." > > "Last year, on this exact date, SETI radio telescopes detected bogeys > in the airspace over twenty-seven states. The White House ordered a > Condition Red." > > "But that was a meteor shower." > > "Officially. Two days ago, eight prized Scandinavian reindeer vanished > from the National Zoo, in Washington, D.C. Nobody--not even the > zookeeper--was told about it. The government doesn't want people to > know about Project Kringle. They fear that if this thing is proved to > exist the public will stop spending half its annual income in a holiday > shopping frenzy. Retail markets will collapse. Scully, they cannot let > the world believe this creature lives. There's too much at stake. > They'll do whatever it takes to insure another silent night." > > "Mulder, I--" > > "Sh-h-h. Do you hear what I hear?" > > "On the roof. It sounds like ... a clatter." > > "The truth is up there. Let's see what's the matter." >- ------------- End Forwarded Message ------------- > >
-- END included message