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Re: On courtesy

Poster: Caitlin Cheannlaidir <caitlin@phosphor-ink.com>

I think it's also important to remember that people can't read your mind,
nor is everyone's attention always on their surroundings.  For example, I
pass a group of men, while carrying a heavy load, and no one jumps to help
me.  Well, maybe their minds were on their conversation; maybe I was
carrying my burden so gracefully<g> that its weight was not apparent.  Do
not assume malice where inattention would have the same effect.

Now, one could argue that people should always be on the lookout for
chances to help, and that's a goal to which we should all aspire.  But it's
also important to ask for help when you need it, rather than struggling
under a double load of the object and your silent resentment.  In the past
seven years that I have been in the SCA, I have had many gentlemen offer to
carry things for me or to assist in other ways; I have had many ladies take
the other side of my burdens; and I have, on occasion, asked for help when
none was volunteered. I have never had anyone refuse or evade a direct
request for help.  It's true that, for sheer helpfulness, certain
individuals and groups stand out (House Blackspear comes to mind) but in
general my personal experience has been that folks in the SCA make courtesy
a real priority.

--Caitlin Cheannlaidir
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