Re: On courtesy

[many waters cannot quench love <lisa@technomancer.com>]

Poster: many waters cannot quench love <lisa@technomancer.com>

On Tue, 24 Feb 1998, Caitlin Cheannlaidir wrote:

> I think it's also important to remember that people can't read your mind,
> nor is everyone's attention always on their surroundings.  For example, I

<snip>

i think caitlin has a REALLY good point here!  a lot of people seem to
expect others to notice that they need assistance and volunteer.  while
that's a wonderful thing when it happens, it's just not always going to
happen at an event when everyone has their mind on their own tasks and
activities.

> Now, one could argue that people should always be on the lookout for
> chances to help, and that's a goal to which we should all aspire.  But it's
> also important to ask for help when you need it, rather than struggling
> under a double load of the object and your silent resentment.  In the past

in my experience, people are generally hesitant to ask for help when they
need or want it; i don't know whether that's more from shyness, fear of
imposing, or because they're waiting for someone to volunteer.  i don't
generally suffer from any of the above, so i have no qualms about querying
the nearest unoccupied gentle if i could use an extra hand or someone
taller than i to assist me - and i have NEVER gotten a response other than
immediate eagerness to help out. 

in my opinion, it is just as courteous to render assistance when asked as
it is to volunteer assistance, and both should be encouraged. :)

						melys

lisa lorenzin  |  lisa@technomancer.com  |  http://www.1000plus.com/lisa/
of what avail is an open eye if the heart is blind? - solomon ibn gavirol

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