Re: Galen: courtly behavior

[Chindora@aol.com]

Poster: Chindora@aol.com

Greetings  :)

I wanted to add a note on this subject, that while being of mundane origins I
believe is relevant here.  A couple of years ago I had the opportunity to
visit a dear friend in Berkeley California.  This was a gentleman that I had
grown up with and so knew quite well.  I was taken aback when I noticed that
during the time I had been there he had never, not once, made the effort to
open my car door or any other door for that matter.   The last day that I was
visiting I asked him about it and his reply surprised me.  He said that when
he was going through doors and made the gesture to open it and hold it open
for a woman, that he got rude responses running the gamut from hard stares to
outright verbal hostility.   Not from other men, but from the women. Seems
that they felt that he was trying to imply that they were weak and could not
do it themselves.  I was astounded because I was raised that it is a mark of
respect for someone to open a door for another person, even if only simple
social etiquette and not a grand gesture.  He said that he had been so blasted
by women for doing this that he had just gotten out of the habit and had
forgotten how nice it was to be appreciated and not criticized for doing
something that he thought of only as a sign of politeness.  <shrug>  

As for me, I will continue to teach my sons how to gracefully open a door, and
I will also endeavor to teach my daughters to always be gracious and polite.

Jane Devereux
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