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Re: [MilitaryMommies] Fwd: FW: Southern signs

Poster: Brenna <sunnie@exis.net>

> WHAT'S Y'ALL'S SIGN (Horoscope for Southerners)
> It has become pretty obvious to us Southerners that our present
> astrological signs have served their purpose and that we should get rid of
> them.  When I'm out driving around I'll see bulls, and once in a great
> while I suppose I'll even see a ram.  Up the street from me there's some
> twins, but I don't see them much. The rest of these
> things are just too obscure. You only see crabs on vacation. There are no
> lions or scorpions, not many archers and no damn water bearers. Virgins?
> The
> neighborhood's not crawling with them either. So, what we need here is some
> relevance. We need things we can recognize up there in the night sky.
> OKRA  Dec 22 - Jan 20
> Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okra
> have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and
> see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies.
> CHITLIN  Jan 21 - Feb 19
> Chitlins often come from humble backgrounds. Many times they're
> uncomfortable talking about just where they came from. A chitlin, however,
> can make something of himself if he's motivated and has plenty of
> seasoning. When it comes to dealing with Chitlins, be very careful.
> Chitlins can burn and then erupt like Vesuvius, and this can make for a
> really terrible mess.  Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.  Remember
> that when marriage time rolls around.
> BOLL WEEVIL  Feb 20 - Mar 20
> You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface of
> things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything.
> Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner
> hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry
> about it.
> MOON PIE  Mar 21 - Apr 20
> You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It's a cinch
> to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. "Big" and "round" are
> the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely
> interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. This might be the year
> to think about aerobics. Maybe not.
> POSSUM  Apr 21 - May 21
> When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to
> withdraw and develop a "don't - bother - me - about - it" attitude.
> Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead.  This
> strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but seems to work for
> you. One day, however, it won't work, and you may find your problems
> actually running you over.
> CRAWFISH  May 22 - Jun 21
> Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're always hanging
> around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the
> pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living room. You tend not to be
> particularly attractive physically, but you have very, very good heads.
> COLLARDS  Jun 22- Jul 23
> Collards have a genius for communication.  They love to get in the "melting
> pot" of life and share their essence with the essences of those around
> them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball
> managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards, stay away
> from Moon Pies. It just won't work.  Save yourself a lot of heartache.
> CATFISH  Jul 24 - Aug 23
> Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, with one exception:
> Whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are never easy
> people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of
> life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.
> GRITS  Aug 24 - Sep 23
> Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle
> together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel, though, so
> maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go?
> Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you can
> go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.
> BOILED PEANUTS  Sep 24 - Oct 23
> You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those
> who know you best - your friends and loved ones - may find that your
> personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably affect you
> deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go
> right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours
> is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will
> always pull over and stop for you.
> BUTTER BEAN  Oct 24 - Nov 22
> Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with
> everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the vine
> of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next
> to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon
> Pies.
> ARMADILLO  Nov 23 - Dec 21
> You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite
> gentle. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit,
> worms and insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned with today's
> fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about today.
> You're  really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns.
> You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another,
> somewhat kinky, mating possibility.

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