Re: Courtesy and Honor in SCA

[Betty Eyer <betty_eyer@yahoo.com>]

Poster: Betty Eyer <betty_eyer@yahoo.com>



--- BawdyLady@aol.com wrote:
> 
> Poster: BawdyLady@aol.com
> 
> Greetings all,
> 
>  No, I don't know why I'm still in it if it's =That
> Bad=.  
<snip>

Dear Bawdy Lady,

I certainly can relate and sympathize, as this is a question that any
sane and hardworking SCAdian has asked themselves at some time or
another.  Only you can decide if it is worth it. However, let me give
you some advice, although I know you didnt ask for it.  

How much do you like history?  Do you like A&S stuff and/or fighting? 
Are there activities, creativity, enjoyment potentially in the SCA that
you can't get anywhere else?  If the answer to those questions is
"YES!", then you need to change the way you play, not drop out.  If you
are primarily in the SCA for social activity, you might want to look
around for a more compatible group - there are lots of those.  

How do you change the way you play? For instance, search out those you
admire who are doing things you enjoy doing.  Try to find a mentor who
can guide you towards fun activity and courteous people.  Avoid the
jerks, even if that means primarily playing with folks outside your
immediate area.  Join a guild, find a teacher, ask for an invite to a
household's activities (assuming that the household is full of people
you admire).  

Do not risk what you cannot endure to lose - that is, if you don't feel
that you can open your home to someone without having it suffer from
spills, folks pillaging of your larder, loaning out your books, etc.,
then  don't offer it and don't feel guilty for a moment.  Limit your
volunteering to a manageable level so that you don't burn out and get
resentfull. 

The best way to train people is to reward good behavior and ignore bad
behavior, although throttling the offenders is awfully tempting
sometimes.  I especially have a hard time ignoring it when folks abuse
those weaker than them (i.e., children, pregnant women, those who are
financially constrained, physically disabled, the chronically sweet and
easy going types, etc.).....

Good Luck,
Magdalena
===
Magdalena de Hazebrouck 
Purpure, a fess fesule argent between three torches or.
**********************************************************
Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
Henry David Thoreau, Walden, I, Economy
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