Re: Of Rhinos and Un-Chivalry

[David Kuijt <kuijt@umiacs.UMD.EDU>]

Duncan writes

>Hear, hear! Of late, I have seen some of our new members make casual
>comments to the effect of "So-and-so is a good fighter, but I hear that
>he/she is a bit of a Rhino." We are a Society which is built on honor and
>chivalry, ...

I agree completely--Duncan is correct in everything he says.



It is very unchivalrous to talk about anyone as a "Rhino" except
directly to the person with whom you have the problem.  And it is
TOTALLY WRONG to pass on hearsay on this subject.  If you have not
actually thrown the blows, you may be wrong, even if you think you
saw them hit hard enough.  And if you didn't even see them, you should
not be talking at all.

It is also, of course, wrong to blow off blows you should have taken.
And if you blow off blows that seem to many people to have been good,
it is only natural that they should form a poor opinion of you.  And
they are likely to keep that opinion for a long time.

The amount of calling people "Rhino" is in fact loosely coupled to
the amount of Rhino-ing.  Especially when it is in a public place,
like in Crown Tourney.

Both of these are problems.  And they happen to be connected.  Not
tightly bound, but connected.

I think that we should be doing two things differently.  We should
be much more careful about such accusations through hearsay.  And
we should be much more willing to discuss such "accusations" 
directly with the people who we think are having the problem.
Too often when a fight gets really ugly, many people do two things:
they turn away, and never mention it to the combatants; and they
talk about it to everyone BUT the combatants.  Both of these are
wrong.

Discussing it with the fighters is the ONLY effective way to
resolve the underlying problem.  It will help homogenize the
acknowledgement levels, and it will open up the problem for
further discussion.

So yes, Duncan, I agree: Thou Shalt Not Call One Man Rhino to
Another.  But nobody should interpret that as saying "Don't
call anyone Thick"--the associated Commandment is this:
Thou Shalt Always Discuss Acknowledgement Problems With The
Person Who Has Them.

Sadly, we seem to forgive slamming others' acknowledgement in
absentia (a wrong act), and we revile people who come up
to us and say "Earl Dafydd, I think that you are having a
problem", which is a correct thing to do.


Dafydd