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Re: questions about favors

> On another note, I would be careful as to who you give a favor.  A
> *gentleman* I know refuses to return my favor, and he has been refusing
> for over 2 years now.  He is no longer acting in any way honorably, and
> I am getting rather annoyed that he will not honor my request and return
> my favor.  To make things easier on me in the future, the next person
> to whom I give a favor who is NOT a relative, will probably be my
> husband -- after we are married.  Returning favors when asked is 
> a matter of courtesy, and to keep one's honor, one should *honor* the
> request (pardon the pun).

Milady, were I still a fighter, I would offer to champion you against 
this rogue. A gentleman who refuses to return a favor loses any claim to 
the term. Among the most prized of my SCA possessions is the a favor made 
by a friend. Knowing that the lady of my household lacked the time to 
provide me with one, she presented me with one of her own; the first one 
she had ever given. I would offer its return, she would bid me keep it at 
every event we met. 
Milady, whilst one should always give thought as to whom one's favor is 
bestowed, please do not do not begrudge the gentlemen of the realm the 
benefit one cur betrayed. In my fighting daze, my girlfriend had been to 
one event, but was unable to attend others. In a list, while wearing her 
favor, I encountered m'lord Rhinohyde of Cheatsburg. My temper was 
pushed to straining, and I was unsure of my conduct. Others felt Rhino got 
what he deserved, and told me I behaived fine. The next day, my lady 
asked me if I had brought dishonor to her. I replied "No." She asked if I 
felt I had honored her with my actions. I replied "No.", my behavior had 
not been up to the standards I set. Better to lose a bout with one's 
standards than to win by lowering them. She charged me thusly: That 
before entering the lists, I should approach a lady present, and ask her 
for her favor, as a surrogate for my lady. This custom lasted me through 
several years till the time came to lay down my arms. Never again did my 
conduct fall short. 
 Please remember that the granting of a favor bestows honor on the realm. 

...Namir ha Arvad