Disc: On Being called a rhinohide

[Lance Harrop <lharrop@mrj.com>]

Poster: Lance Harrop <lharrop@mrj.com>


With some trepidation I write:

On this wonderful discussion about tolerance and intolerance of 
misbehaviour, especially as it applies to the art of blow acknowledgement 
(for which, read rhinohiding), some good gentles of worthy note have 
pointed out the importance of courtesy in questioning another's actions 
in this matter.

Or simply put, they said, "you had better be damn careful about calling 
someone a rhinohide".

I hope I have not occasioned to cause many people to think me a 
rhinohide.  But it did happen once.  Worse, it happened in a Crown 
tourney.  Worst, it happened against a Lady (please do not use your 
deductive powers to try to identify this individual, I'm sure she is as 
unpleased to remember the occassion as I am to recount it).

Anyway, we fought sword and board and she got a few tinks in before I 
killed her.  I went to her immediately afterward and told her that the 
blows she had landed I thought were light.  I can not recall the exact 
words of her reply, but the substance seemed at the time to be "Well, if 
that's the way you want to play the game :-( ".  At which point she 
stormed out of the list.

To say the least, this cut me to the quick.  It pains me little less now 
to recall it then it did at the time to hear it.  When I had finished 
with the tourney I thought it best to try to resolve it.

That day I carried three favors.  One was for the consort I fought for 
that day, one for a pervious Crown consort, and one for a neighboring 
barony, whose baroness was in attendance.  I gathered these three ladies 
together and told them of my dismay, and that I intended to give their 
favors over to the lady I had fought, asking her to go to them and direct 
them to guide me in some penances, that I might win back the honour they 
had lost through my actions in abusing their favor.  This plan they all 
agreed to accept.

Thus I carried these favors to Lady, and my pain drove me to my knees 
before her.  I apologized for my deeds against her, begged her to take 
the favors from me, and demand from their owners some penance on me 
before she should return them.  Her eyes filled with tears, as mine are 
now, and she would not take the favors.  She said her words were hasty, 
and she did not mean to wound with them.  She accepted my apology, and 
forgave me all, and bid me think no more upon it.

Of course I do think upon it occasionally, especially when people speak 
about the discourtesy of accusing someone of rhinohiding.  But I think it 
better courtesy to speak your mind, and resolve these problems, no matter 
how painful, rather then to let such matters fester.

In Service
Leifr Johansson
=======================================================================
List Archives, FAQ, FTP:  http://sca.wayfarer.org/merryrose/
            Submissions:  atlantia@atlantia.sca.org
        Admin. requests:  majordomo@atlantia.sca.org