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Yeah for US!! (YKTCPIARI)
Poster: polearmed <polearmed@worldnet.att.net>
Allah's Blessed Peace to those here on the Merry Rose!!
VIVAT ATLANTIA!!! We cut them down like fields of wheat, and our King, the reaver!!
In honor of Their Majesty's stunning and decisive defeat of the Eastern Armies and their
barbarian allies, and a whole load of fun, fun, and more fun at the Pointless War, I,
Falcone al Rasool ibn Muhajir, do remind you all of a simpler time when The Mighty Logan
Rex, Dread King of Atlantia, Great Source of Fear in the Knowne World, was only a
redneck from Queens with a shiny new coronet...
YOU KNOW THE CROWN PRINCE IS A REDNECK IF..........
...the fluid in HRH's mug at court is "made from the finest hops and
grains available".
...you know HRH's car contains empties of <insert despised brand
of cheap brewski here>.
...HRH engages in "friendly banter" with the waitress at an establishment,
known for it's humour and fair treatment, and one or more knights from
another kingdom gets his surcoat in a wad.
...the brass HRH is using for his county coronets came from those "really
cool" Marlboro 100 inserts.
...HRH really does rip furniture apart for the rattan blanks.(hell, I've
done this)
...HRH doesn't remove the cigarette perched precariously on the end of his
lips to say "Hit it, Herald".
...HRH's last words are, "Hey Y'all. Watch this."
...if a Trimarian says so.
...his body armor is stamped "CHEVY"?
"You missed a rivet in your front quarter panel, YH."
"Is that mold or moulding, YH?"
"Are your headlights on, or are you just happy to kill me, YH?"
"I think it was good, YH....I dented your hood."
"Is your radiator busted, or have you seen too many waterbearers, YH?"
...his body armor says "Construction Zone Ahead"?
...his chain mail is made out of pull tabs
...he beats the Princess once a day and twice on Sunday.
...he only allows fighters who have been authroized six months or less
to fight in his crown tourney.
...he eats small, tender children for lunch while abusing the servants.
(It is optional whether or not you do this in front of Kanigits from
other Kingdoms.)
...he has 6 or more dead shields laying in the tall grass of his front
yard.
...you can see the stains of tobacco juice running down the front of
his helm.
...you present him with a new, handcrafted leather jack and he
immediately uses it for a spitoon.
...his heater proclaims "YEILD"
...his arms blazon "Gules, a saltire cross azure, bordured argent, 12
stars argent"
...his favorite curse is "Oshgosh, b'gosh"
...he awards Merle Haggard the KAE.
...his white belt has a big ol' Bud buckle on it
...he practises for melees by taking a WALK across town - while
chewing 'redman'.
...he calls the Metro library for help in documenting period
overalls.
....he refers to an event fee as a 'cover charge' - and pays
with rolled coins.
...he proclaims Brooks and Dunn as Royal Bards.....
...he proclaims some olld coot of a moonshiner as Royal Bard...
...he drives a Big ol truck to Events...WAIT A MINUTE...That about 3/4ths of
the SCA....Sorry about that, ignore that
...line dancing replaces all other forms of period dance
...the back of his shield says "STOP" ?
...he has three coats of plate up on blocks in the front yard....
...his front porch collapses and crushes more than six squires...
...his feasts include a lot of possum subtilties.....and savory toasted cheese
burgers...
...his coat-of-arms features kudzu
...he thinks a stiletto is a type of heel
...the bubonic plague avoids him
...he has a velvet King Arthur
...he uses his codpiece as a spittoon
...his Momma taught him how to make a wrap shot
...he ever went to war over a hunting dog
...Vikings back down from his Momma
...he's ever shot a deer from inside his castle
...he mows his lawn and finds a suit of armor
You know the Crown Prince is a (Yankee) Redneck if:
He refers to the Chivalry as: Da Boys
(ie: Me and Da Boys is gonna have to rough youse up a bit ;)
You know the Crown Prince is an _educated_ Yankee redneck when:
He uses $5 words like vaticinat(or)
**from the Latin vaticinari**
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Donald Wagner Falcone al Rasool ibn Muhajir
Raleigh, NC Barony of Windmasters' Hill
Knowledge Engineer - AT&T Kingdom of Atlantia
dswagner@attmail.com polearmed@worldnet.att.net
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