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RE: boring court? (was re: escorting ladies)

Poster: Becky McEllistrem <beckymc@MICROSOFT.com>


Ya know, I was going to ignore this whole thread but it just gets at my 
very being so I can hold back no longer...

	Since when did common courtesy become something that was disposable?

	It just completely tweaks me to hear things I've ALWAYS thought of as a 
given being debated..


I used to think that way until I joined SCA.  Kane and I had many discussions about
this.  It all boils down to manners.  What is good manners and bad manners differs across
groups, families and individuals.  I would remove my involvement from groups that I
assumed experienced bad manners and be very disappointed.  What I learned was that
some people never understood why I was offended and had never understood that activity
A or Joke B was offensive to me.  At that point I began speaking out directly to individuals that I felt
were acting with bad manners (and still do).  Some groups would hear me and change their
approach and others would decide that I was worrying too much and continue.  After a while
I learned that it wasn't a bad approach.  Just that they'd chosen a different approach.  Some
are taught different priorities than others.  That's why these subjects get debated and SHOULD
be discussed.  There are comments made here that are sometimes heard for the first time.
What seems common sense, or common courtesy to me is frequently something never heard
by many friends.  What I remind myself so that I'm not annoyed with these discussions is that
A:  The SCA doesn't always attract the most socially skilled individuals.  B:  SCA attracts folks
from all walks of life.  C:  Never ASSUME anything!  (Never assume that _____
is seen as common courtesy, never assume that those that behave differently are rude, never
assume that what you have to say is unimportant. Etc. etc.).  You can get very disappointed
when making too many assumptions.

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