I've heard the argument that, "...it's the option of the lady to do with theNo, it's not, but the rules that I was taught didn't involve refusing the fruit. The choice was that you either bit the clove or removed it with your fingers and the gentleman kissed your hand. Is this not practiced everywhere? I never found the hand kissing part offensive any more than I find the teasing of certain rakes offensive. The gentlemen (yes, including our esteemed rakes) have never been forceful, pushy, rude, or in any way uncomplimentary of the ladies of the barony. I simply cannot imagine any different within the confines of the society.
fruit as she wishes. So there is no real harm in it." This is ludicrous.
What if the lady does not know it is ok to refuse the fruit? What if it is
her first event and she thinks that if a person gives her a cloved fruit,
she is *supposed* to give him a kiss? Is that honourable?
If the intention is that she has to kiss him, it would be presumptuous and rude. My lord has no problem with my taking the fruit and pulling a clove with my fingers. As long as the gentlemen do not pursue a lady when they are obviously unwanted, I personally see no real danger in an innocent flirtation or compliment.What does that then say about the regard for the lady's lord? Not much, no
matter how you try to obfuscate the situation.
That is understandable. Many people chose not to play. Usually, when a person makes it clear that they are not interested, they are not bothered. And, it is common (at least when I have seen the game played) for a lady to end up with the fruit and not want to offer it for fear that the recipient will ask for a kiss she does not want to give. In cases like that, she usually leaves the fruit on a table where someone else picks it up with no string attached to the lady.I personally will not participate in this practice that is degrading to
women and ignores any type of moral ideals.
Brenna