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Netiquette, Part 2

     Melys wrote: [chunks snipped to save space]
     unto the merry rose, from melys, greetings!
     i've been sitting on this letter for a week or so now, watching 
     accusations of offensiveness and discourtesy swirl around the list, 
     and i've finally got it into sufficiently coherent form to post.  
     there's a fair amount of verbiage here that some people will find only 
     peripherally related to the list; i think netiquette is list-related 
     because the list is on the net, but i'm aware that some people would 
     disagree.  if you're one of them, you can stop reading here... :)
     he didn't offend "the public" - he made a public remark which offended 
     one person, who then tried to discipline him in public for her 
     personal indignation.  parents occasionally use that form of 
     discipline on their children; imho, for one adult to attempt to use it 
     on another is insulting, because it implies that the recipient of the 
     attempted discipline is incapable of judging what may or may not be 
     said in public. small children are subject to this form of discipline 
     because they're not old enough to know what one says and doesn't say; 
     to assume the same of an adult is in itself discourteous. 
     if the lady in question found his remarks offensive to her personally, 
     she had every right to contact him IN PRIVATE and express her 
     discomfort.  to say that she should "attempt to correct his behavior" 
     assumes both that she has authority over him as an individual and that 
     she has an authoritative standard for appropriate behavior in general. 
     Gosh a'mosey, didn't I JUST get done saying this, oh, could it have 
     been as long ago as YESTERDAY?
     Of course, that really didn't involve everybody else.  
     Well, NOW IT DOES.  
     There are some decisions that need to be made concerning what CAN and 
     CAN'T be said, under what conditions, and I, for one, fully support 
     Melys' version, (and TRH Logan's, for that matter)
     to wit:  If anybody decides to take seriously whatever is said in a 
     fashion that is CLEARLY intended for amusement, I don't have much 
     sympathy, especially if they take it PERSONALLY.
     Otherwise, a LOT of people are going to stop talking altogether for 
     fear that SOMEBODY won't be amused.
     Jonathan Blackbow

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