Fwd: Re: Kenneth of Starr -Forwarded (fwd)

["Brett W. McCoy" <bmccoy@lan2wan.com>]

Poster: "Brett W. McCoy" <bmccoy@lan2wan.com>

Please don't flame me for this one!

Istvan
                                        http://www.lan2wan.com/~bmccoy/
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"The number of UNIX installations has grown to 10, with more expected."
   -- The UNIX Programmer's Manual, 2nd Edition, June, 1972

>>  Scene 1. A forest glen. Enter Witch Tripp and Kenneth of Starr.
>>   
>>   Witch Tripp:
>>   Double, double, Webster Hubbell,
>>   I think I got the Creep in trouble.
>>   Eye of Newt, strap of bra,
>>   Could it be he broke some law?
>>   Praise this broth utmost ephemeral,
>>   Heavens! I left out my Essence of Emeril!
>>   Hark! Who trespasses so near?
>>   
>>   Kenneth of Starr:
>>   'Tis I, the Inquisitor. What news?
>>   
>>   Witch Tripp:
>>   Things proceed with quickening speed, m'lord. The maiden
>>   Lewinsky, so deeply embroil'd, is now join'd by the Lady Willey in
>>   like pursuit. Daily tightens the noose around the king.
>>   
>>   Starr:
>>   Would that it were so, but he hath good counsel, and more moves
>>   than a chess board. His public, well pleas'd with good news of the
>>   economie, doth o'erlook much.
>>   
>>   Witch Tripp:
>>   How may I serve you next?
>>   
>>   Starr: I have need of acts damnable and facts verifiable. Else he may
>>   elude me yet.
>>   
>>   Witch Tripp:
>>   His dog Buddy, freshly neuter'd, may bear his master
>>   harsh reproach. He may consent to wearing a collar of our invention,
>>   to survey the king at his ease. Dogs are much accustom'd to
>>   insects. What's one more bug?
>>   
>>   Starr:
>>    Good hag, I rely on you completely. I must away.
>>   (Exeunt Tripp and Starr)
>>   
>>   Scene 2. The king's antechamber
>>   
>>   Duke of McCurry:
>>   My Lord! I needs must speak with you most
>>   urgently! The castle is assaulted on all sides!
>>   
>>   Leer:
>>   What would I not give for an hour's peace!
>>   
>>   McCurry:
>>   An army of reporters is settled at thy gate. They are press
>>   in name and press in deed, for they press me daily, nay, hourly for
>>   some explanation from thy lips.
>>   
>>   Leer:
>>   Who is there among them?
>>   
>>   McCurry:
>>   Lords Jennings, Brokaw, Rather, Geraldo of Rivera and a
>>   host of others. Methinks I spied the van from Hard Copy.
>>   
>>   Leer:
>>   You cut me to the quick. Do they not know that I am chaste?
>>   
>>   McCurry:
>>   They insinuate that thou hast chased too often.
>>   
>>   Leer:
>>   Never have lies been so artfully stack'd against a pure soul.
>>   Where is Lady Hillary?
>>   
>>   McCurry:
>>   Her secretary doth report that she is lock'd in her bath,
>>   saying over and over, "Why can I not wash my hands of this guy?"
>>   
>>   Leer:
>>   Oh cursed fate! I must be the most solitary mortal in all
>>   creation. Never have I betrayed m'lady's trust.
>>   
>>   McCurry: Whatever.
>>   
>>   (Enter Messenger)
>>   
>>   Messenger:
>>   Good king, steel thy nerve. I bring a missive from Kenneth
>>   of Starr, the Grand Inquisitor.
>>   
>>   Leer:
>>   Was ever a man as Starr-cross'd as I? Why does this man conspire

>>   to afflict me thus? My hand is unsteady. Read it to me.
>>   
>>   Messenger:
>>   Let me see. He offers you his regards, blah, blah, blah,
>>   then doth subpoena you to appear at his chamber at Friday next, to
>>   forswear again that thou tookst no liberties with the wench Jones,
>>   who withdraweth not her claims against you.
>>   
>>   Leer:
>>   I have already so sworn!
>>   
>>   McCurry:
>>   It would seem, m'lord, that the woeful tale of Lady Willey
>>   rekindles old flames.
>>   
>>   Leer:
>>   I kiss'd the woman on the forehead, as a sign of my regard.
>>   Never was a king so expos'd!
>>   
>>   McCurry:
>>   Truer words were ne'er spoken.
>>   
>>   Leer:
>>   I cannot think on't further. Leave me to my own counsel.
>>   
>>   (Exeunt Messenger and McCurry)
>>   
>>   Leer:
>>   To be forthright, or not to be forthright, that is the
>>   question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and
>>   arrows of outrageous fortune, or just bag the whole thing and teach
>>   law at a junior college.
>>   
>>   (Enter Courtier)
>>   
>>   Courtier:
>>   My liege, you are late for an appointed meeting.
>>   Leer: What's this?
>>   
>>   Courtier: You were to interview a new assistant at the stroke of
>>   two. She seems most capable, and with rare intellect for one so young
>>   and fair.
>>   
>>   Leer:
>>   Well, tell her I will see her anon, and on, and on.
>>   
>>   Courtier: A most clever jest, my king.
>>   
>>   Leer: Let us not tarry further.
>>   
>>   (Exeunt Leer and courtier. Enter Buddy, from behind achair)
>>   
>>   Buddy:
>>   So dearest reader, I bid adieu.
>>   Me seeth I have much to do.
>>   And so it comes to this pretty pass
>>   To see if the king doth get some . . . class.
>>   -------------------------------------------
>>      
>>   You gotta admit...... this could be a classic....
>>   "Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of
>>  outrageous fortune, or just bag the whole thing and teach law at a junior
>>  college."
> 


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